I went out for a few beers last night with Gaz. There was a two-and-a-half percent decrease in VAT on Monday. I was expecting the price of a pint to have dropped. The decrease is part of Gordon Brown’s master plan to get us all to spend more. He wants British consumers to rescue the economy from the mess he and his pals have created.

Anyway, the price of a pint had not gone down. I was outraged and complained to the Wayne the Manager, who patiently explained that they put the duty on beer, wine and spirits up at the same time as they dropped VAT, so the prices stayed the same.

Nanny Gordon knows best and does not want us to drink more. He doesn’t want us to waste our hard earned money on English Ale or Scotch Whisky. We should spend it instead on Chinese made toys.

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